On a lovely hot day me and my family went to Splash planet. The sun was beaming on the water Which reflected off the water and making a distinguished orange colour shining. Off the surface of the water and it was packed to the brim with people and all the slides were packed and all the seats were taken. But that didn’t stop me and my dad from getting to the top of the slippery winy blue slide.But when we got to the top of the castle slide that had a lot of stairs . I looked down and I felt Butterflies in my stomach, but when me and my dad got on the slide I felt even more Butterflies flapping around in my stomach. As the water rushed past my toes and some got into my mouth and I said to my dad, “Time to get off,” but swoosh we flung down the sea blue slide. I was screaming for my life because it was my first time going down the sea blue slide. And me and my dad went . Around and around as me and my dad went down the slide and every thing was a big blue bler (blur). I wanted to be sick but my dad said “please no” said my dad so I held it in. but I was relieved that we had stop (stopped) spinning but then we zoom down the slide as fast as lighting but when we were about to reach the bottom of the slide we got trap (trapped) in between the two walls on the slide. Than really fast these two other people came screaming down the slide and they basht(bashed) into us and we all made a big splash into the ice cold water and I said “let's do it again” “no way hozay” said my dad and he went to get some hot chip’s. But I snuck back up to the slide and when it was my turn I went really fast and slid down at high speed on the really long slide that (was) as straight as (a) golf club show splash I hit the bottom of the slide and at the corner of my eye. I saw my dad standing there with cold and soggy chips and my dad had a half smiling half angry face and he said “where have you been” Did I get in trouble?
I am writing about a time in my life when I went down a slide my one is about when me and my family went to Splash Planet on the weekends when I was six years old and it was my first time at Splash Planet at I had a blast and it was much cooler back then and Splash planet and Splash planet usest (used) to be called Fantasy land.
My goal was to use vocabulary and it was hard at first but I got better at adding vocabulary into my writing. I used a thesaurus sometimes to get better words in my writing. It was hard to adding in commas and I still don't really know where to add them in. Sometimes it really challenges me to put the detail into my writing.
